According to a study by researchers from Binghamton University, women handle breakups better than men because women heal while men struggle to make a full recovery. Although women reported higher levels of post relationship grief, men seemed to suppress their pain.
“Women are more likely to cry soon after the breakup, and they’re also more likely to use straight talk when ending a relationship. So women face their relationship blues head on, and get them out of their systems earlier. Many men tend to repress their reaction, so it lingers like basement mold.” – Men’s Health Magazine
Putting the study to the test, I asked 9 people to share their worst breakup stories with me. Below are my findings on how women and men react differently to breakups. I also examined how women and men experience the 5 stages of grief according to psychology, namely denial, anger, depression, bargaining, and acceptance. The results are eye-opening.
The age of respondents ranged from 20 to 25. Some were working full time while others were full time students. Among the respondents, 5 were female and 4 were male.
Common ways to initiate a breakup included text message, ghosting, phone call, and face to face confrontation.
Interestingly, 6 out of 9 breakups were initiated by men.
Regarding the 5 stages of grief, most respondents expressed that they had experienced certain stages of grief, but men were more likely to skip stages while women experienced the full spectrum.
For example, one respondent recalled feeling zero percent of denial and anger, 50 percent of bargaining, 10 percent of depression, and 40 percent of acceptance. “She was not suitable to keep going because she’s not beautiful enough, and I’m on exchange, want to meet new relationship.” – Albert, aged 25, restaurant manager
Another male respondent experienced zero percent of bargaining. “She’s constantly mad at me for trivial reasons. Distance also played a role.” – JH, aged 24, analyst
One reported to not experience any denial, anger, nor acceptance. “No love in the relationship anymore. I just texted her.” – AC, aged 22, student
According to the survey, 3 out of 4 male respondents reported to skip stages. But only 1 out of 5 female respondents skipped stages.
“He suddenly told me he had affairs with his colleague via WhatsApp. I could hardly believe he did this to me as our relationship was quite well in the past two years. I called him and asked him if he still want to be with me. I was like begging him to stay and I just couldn’t imagine how would I be without this guy. And finally I asked him out to talk face to face. We were both crying and we both wanted to be together. However, he insisted to break up that he thought he was bad to me. He told me if he regrets,he will approach me again. Actually few months later he found me and ask if we could be together again but I was occupied. Lol.” – Diana, aged 22, student
Lastly, all respondents agreed that breakups were dramatic and messy.
What do you think? Feel free to share your thoughts in the comments below.
Note: pseudonyms have been used for privacy concerns